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  • Churchill Urinating in Germany October 28, 2014

    Author: Beach Combing | in : Contemporary , trackback

    churchill brooke, montgomery siegfried line

    An unseemly story as the title suggests. 24 March 1945, Churchill visited the first occupied areas in Germany and more particularly the famous Siegfried Line. He was travelling with several British dignitaries including Montgomery and Brooke. An American, Lieutenant General William Hood Simpson asked Churchill, some miles prior to Germany’s last line of defence, whether or not he wanted a ‘sanitary stop’, but on being told that the SL was just half an hour away, Churchill, instead, insisted that they wait. The old man had his reasons for when, finally, faced by that impressive work of German engineering he walked out, examined the anti-tank ramps, ‘the dragon teeth’ and announced that he would urinate on them: ‘Gentleman, it’s time to take a piss’. Alan Brooke, Britain’s capable Chief of Imperial Staff, notes that Churchill cherished the moment: ‘I shall never forget the childish grin of intense satisfaction that spread all over his face as he looked down at the critical moment.’ Most edifying. Yet Churchill got away with these things.

    A couple of interesting points and a question. By the account of one American journalist, Ralph G. Martin not only Churchill but many of the victors took this opportunity to tinkle over the pride of German defensive engineering. Even Brooke and Montgomery? It is hard to believe. Second, Churchill’s visit was being filmed and photographed by western press corps.  True, Churchill held the photographers back before undoing his trousers. ‘This is one of the operations connected with this great war which must not be reproduced graphically’. It is difficult to believe, though, that someone didn’t accidentally push the wrong button on the camera and immortalise the scene. Last Beach wonders if Hitler would have urinated on the lawn at Buckingham Palace or squatted over the White Cliffs of Dover? Almost certainly not. Hitler was far too proper and dignified and, well, genocidal for these kinds of games: a typical petty bourgeoisie background. You had to be born off the library in Blenheim Palace to enjoy urinary frolics. To see Hitler getting excited watch his signing of the French German armistice where he manages a little skip, that’s as far as he goes.

    Churchill also allegedly (though Beach has not tracked the source down) urinated into the Rhine, something that General Patton famously (and no doubt deliberately) got photographed doing. Other victorious pissing matches: drbeachcombing AT yahoo DOT com No courage to look too far on Google for such things.